Let’s talk about a sneaky little habit so many of us millennials have mastered: invalidating our own emotions. You know the drill. You’re upset, frustrated, or just plain overwhelmed, and instead of addressing it, you say things like, “It’s not that big of a deal,” or, “I shouldn’t feel this way.” Sound familiar?

At first glance, this self-dismissal might seem harmless. After all, we’re told to stay positive, push through, and not dwell on the negatives, right? But here’s the catch: when we skip over validating our feelings, we’re not just brushing them under the rug. We’re building a wall that keeps us stuck in the same frustrating patterns.

Why Emotional Invalidations Keep Us Stuck

Imagine you’re trying to solve a puzzle, but you’re only looking at half the pieces. That’s what happens when we dismiss our emotions. We’re denying ourselves access to the full picture of what’s really going on inside us. Emotions aren’t just pesky interruptions—they’re messengers. They clue us in to what matters, what’s hurting, and what needs our attention. When we invalidate our feelings, we’re essentially ignoring those messages. And without that clarity, we end up making the same mistakes, feeling the same frustrations, and wondering why nothing ever changes.

Here’s the thing: invalidating our emotions often feels like it’s helping us move on. But in reality, it’s like putting duct tape over a check engine light. The underlying issue doesn’t go away; it just gets louder, messier, and harder to untangle later.

The Shortcut That’s Actually a Detour

Many of us are guilty of skipping the emotional processing step because it’s uncomfortable. Who wants to sit with anger, sadness, or disappointment when you could scroll Instagram, binge-watch your favorite show, or bury yourself in work? But here’s the uncomfortable truth: skipping this step doesn’t save us time or pain. In fact, it delays the very growth and change we’re craving.

When we don’t understand what’s fueling our reactions or decisions, we end up making surface-level changes that don’t stick. Maybe you’ve told yourself, “I’m going to stop procrastinating,” or “I’ll never date someone like that again,” only to find yourself right back where you started. It’s not that you lack willpower or discipline. It’s that real change requires real understanding—and that starts with validating your emotions.

Therapy: Your Emotional Decoding Device

This is where therapy comes in. Contrary to popular belief, therapy isn’t just about venting your feelings to someone with a clipboard. It’s about learning how to listen to yourself. A good therapist helps you identify and validate your emotions, not so you can wallow in them, but so you can understand them. And understanding is the key to breaking those broken cycles.

Therapy teaches you to sit with your emotions without judgment, to recognize the patterns that keep tripping you up, and to approach yourself with compassion instead of criticism. When you’re able to do this, something incredible happens: you stop being at war with yourself. Instead of fighting your feelings or pretending they don’t exist, you start working with them. And that’s where real, sustainable change begins.

Ready to get started? Conveniently schedule your own consultation to see how therapy could work for you!

Compassion as a Productivity Hack

Here’s the twist: validating your emotions doesn’t just make you feel better—it makes you more productive, resilient, and capable. When you understand your emotional landscape, you make decisions from a place of clarity instead of reactivity. You’re able to set boundaries, communicate your needs, and pursue your goals without the baggage of unresolved feelings weighing you down. In other words, emotional validation isn’t a weakness; it’s a superpower.

Becoming the Best Version of You

If there’s one thing millennials excel at, it’s the pursuit of self-growth. We’re the generation of side hustles, wellness apps, and bucket lists. But true growth isn’t just about checking boxes or hitting milestones. It’s about becoming the most authentic, fulfilled, and empowered version of yourself. And that journey starts with understanding who you are—messy emotions and all.

So the next time you catch yourself saying, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” pause. Take a breath. Remind yourself that your emotions are valid, even if they’re inconvenient or uncomfortable. They’re not obstacles to overcome; they’re guideposts pointing you toward the life you want to create.

And if you’re ready to take that exploration to the next level, therapy might just be the game-changer you’ve been looking for. Because when you break down the barriers to emotional processing, you’re not just freeing yourself from old patterns—you’re stepping into a future that’s more compassionate, more productive, and undeniably more you.